Archive for January, 2011

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Skillz

January 26, 2011

Mad skillz I don’t have and wish that I did:

  • Ability to do tumbleturns at the end of the the pool lap
  • Ability to sing like Arethra Franklin
  • Ability to feign interest in matching wine to food

 

Mad skillz I do have and wish that I didn’t:

  • Ability to wake up at 7am every morning, including on holidays and weekends
  • Ability to jam feet very firmly in mouth
  • Ability to split custard just by being in the same room
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We went to the NGV and we saw…

January 24, 2011

…a big bunny…

…two very nice arty shows, and a whole lot of this:

What did you do with your Sunday?

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An ideas man

January 23, 2011

Last night was much like any other Saturday evening around here. There I was, sewing matching superhero capes for the Curmudgeon and I*, when the opening strains of ABC’s abysmal Bed of Roses started up from the telly. But he was cooking and I was sewing and we were, you know, occupied.

“They should invent a random button,” he called out.

“Oh yes. We’ll call it the Anything But That Button.”

The idea is that in such a situation, when you don’t care what you watch as long as it’s not Bed of Roses or something equally dreadful, you can slam the big red Anything But That Button and receive immediate respite.** Genius.

*True. If you saw two dashing caped crusaders tearing around Brunswick on their bikes last night, that might have been us.

**Some might say that the OFF switch already does this job.

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Self-caught

January 21, 2011

I was carrying some stuff to work that didn’t quite fit in my bag. I set it on the cafe table while I waited for my coffee to arrive.

When it did, the waitress asked, “Fish for lunch?”

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Can I have eet?

January 20, 2011

We have that! We have a home without cats!

George is lovely but I suspect the main reason I like him is that when people ask what he is, I could tell them, quite earnestly, that he’s a Poohound.

If you can offer George an abode free of felines, contact the good people at Save-a-Dog.

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Blue steel

January 20, 2011

The Cumudgeon modelling my latest craft extravaganza:

This scarf blanket should be done by winter when we’ll actually need it. Unless the moths eat it first.

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Thoughts while swimming

January 18, 2011

Lordy I’m hungry.

Aquatic exercise beats terrestrial exercise hands down. Weightlessness and free of sweat.

We humans really come in a remarkable diversity of shapes and sizes and colours, don’t we? Then you add all the stuff we do to ourselves… haircuts, tattoos, speedos…

Imagine if man lumps were as fetishised and showcased as lady bumps.

That guy over there looks like a baddie from one of the Curmudgeon’s comic books. Or maybe a sturdy USSR citizen from a propaganda poster full of happy agricultural communists.

Lordy I’m hungry.