Archive for May, 2010

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Let’s poke a stick at it

May 31, 2010

The Curmudgeon and I went out on Sunday night (I know, don’t worry, we recorded Dr Who) to see some burlesque. Thought it might be a laff. So we sat in a bar and drank a cocktail and did our hair up real nice and watched the show.

At the end we looked at one another and almost simultaneously asked, “Did you find that really dull?” There was one performer who was a gas because she not only created an appealingly awful character but her mad skillz with hula hoops left us very impressed. But everyone else… some feathers, some sparkles, some strutting, a wink or three and presto, boobies. Booooooring. “How is this any different from mainstream stripping?” asked the Curmudgeon. There’s talk about artistry and feminism and all that groovy stuff but really – there were ladies taking their clothes off. Only so many ways to skin a cat, so to speak.

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On PostSecret today

May 24, 2010

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Another reason why you should be wary of hard rubbish rugs

May 20, 2010

Remember Lesson One, people? About the rugs?

Well hold onto your hats, here’s lesson two.

See this rug? I hauled it home a few mornings ago after a cursory inspection for cleanth (which it passed). Some would say you should avoid it because it has headache-inducing optical trickiness. Some would say to avoid it because it’s 3 metres by 4 metres and possibly too large for any room anywhere in inner city Melbourne. Squid had another reason; and she didn’t say anything at all. Well, not with her mouth, anyway.

After I moved all the furniture to make room for this woven behemoth (all the while with a Curmudgeon soundtrack running: “Lady, I’m not sure this will work. It’s so…. too much.”) and brought it in for a vacuuming it would never forget. Squid came over to inspect. And sniff. And sniff some more. Gave it a canine vacuuming, if you will. Then without further ado, squatted down and pissed on it.

She is exquisitely house-trained, people, so I saw this as a statement that could not be ignored. Rolled it up and chucked it outside. I figure some dog did something similar on it, perhaps repeatedly, and she thought it the best way to let me know.

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Sartorial advice sought

May 13, 2010

Folks. It’s not their fault. They had to do it. Sometimes a confluence of real estate pinch and employment demands mean that dyed-in-the-wool northsiders have to move south of the river.

Doesn’t mean you can’t give ’em hell for it.

So they’re having a housewarming and the theme is southside.  I don’t have a thing to wear. The last time I checked, Chapel Street was about popped collars on pink polos. That was about 23,532 fashion cycles ago. So the question is, WHAT are southsiders wearing these days? Can you tell me, so I don’t have to go on a field trip to discover for myself?

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Illuminating

May 9, 2010

Squid thinks we should get octopus chandeliers for every room in the house.

She has such exquisite taste, that dog.

Her exquisite taste extends to chicken. And chickens. Which could be a problem, given that we’re thinking pretty seriously about getting a couple of birds. They would, of course, reside in something like this:

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Whale of a time

May 7, 2010

Tiaki the sperm whale

The Curmudgeon is in New Zealand (I know, it’s getting to be a habit with us) and while I miss him a lot, it’s sorta wonderful getting excited reports about his adventures. His NZ news service includes photojournalism (see above) plus some local reports down the wire, such as:

He’s back on Sunday. Hurray!

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Does this cancel out?

May 2, 2010

The largest miniature world in the world sounds like a pretty low-rent tourist attraction to me.

This was at the end of the foolish running-about the Curmudgeon did this morning. He raced against Puffing Billy who is, according to his link there, Australia’s favourite team train. Puffing Billy won. Insert bad puns here: you can choose from one about the train being chuffed, about it blowing smoke up its own arse, about it having high self-esteam…. when offered these puns to choose from, the Curmudgeon replied, “I don’t know, but you’re on the right track.”