Archive for November, 2010


Vote 1 Guy Smiley

November 27, 2010

“Have you already had a sausage in this election?”

– the question they really should ask at the polling booth

Did you vote? We did. Muddy wooden floors, blunt pencils, recycled ballot boxes with new instructions scribbled in texta over the top of the federal election rules, dog yelping from her post tied up outside. Paper cuts from fighting off the people handing out how-to-vote cards.

Earlier this morning:

He: If you were a Muppet, which one would you be?

Me: You mean which one I look like, or which one has the same personality as me?

He: That you look like.

Me: I don’t know…

He: How about Big Bird?

Me: Why? Because I’m tall and hippy? Rude man.


Not a word

November 24, 2010

On pages 717-718 of Big Green, you’ll see:



Nowhere in this list do I see the word ‘luxe’.

Fashion writers, accessories journalists and interior design editorialists please take note.


Oh crap

November 19, 2010

One must be careful what one wishes for.

I found a mantid egg case weeks ago on a fence in Thornbury. I carefully prised it off and have been tending it ever since. I’d more or less given up on it until this morning…

Squeeeeeeeeeee! Dozens of them! Running around like ants!

Whatever am I to do with them all?



November 14, 2010

Me: What’s the difference between an abcess, a boil and a cyst?

Him: An abscess makes the heart grow fonder while a watched boil never pops….

Me: *groan*

Him: …and cysters are doing it for themselves.


What was that? It was wonderful!

November 7, 2010

I went to an extraordinary event in a Brunswick warehouse last night. Sculptures lurked in the corners, ritualistic Mexican folk dancers performed a human sacrifice, three a cappella angels sang and enchanted us, a Big Band inspired wild 1920s-style dancing, and the man pictured above was a hilarious, human La Linea:

I don’t really know what it was. But I really, really liked it.


New dog

November 6, 2010

While we’re on a new pet bender, can I add this one to the menagerie?

Doesn’t he look lovely?


Consuela (an ode)

November 4, 2010


Oh, Consuela,

you are so bueno at catching flies

and at night your eyes

turn gleaming ruby red.


Oh, Consuela,

you twist your nimble head

to peer over there instead

and watch a tasty snack.


Oh, Consuela,

your style I cannot fault

manaña you might moult

and then you will be big.


A mantid! Joy!

More mantids! More! If you find one, tell me!