Posts Tagged ‘USA’

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Cheese Shop variations

May 8, 2012

At the Meteor Crater Gift and Rock Shop, Arizona:

Me: May I have a thirty-two cent stamp, please?

Woman 1: We don’t have thirty-two cent stamps.

Me: Oh, OK then.

Woman 2: Do you mean just a postcard stamp?

Me: Yep.

Woman 1: We have those but we charge more for them because we have to go out and buy them.

Me: How much?

Woman 1: Thirty-seven cents.

Me: That’s fine.

Woman 1 then sells me a thirty-two cent stamp for thirty-seven cents.

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Highlights from the Amtrak TravelMall catalogue

April 21, 2012

1. Orbitwheels, a “cross between a skateboard and inline skates but with more freedom and simplicity than either”.

2. Thundershirt, a tight coat for anxious dogs that works on the same principle as “swaddling an infant or people with autism”.

3. Protein Ketchup that “delivers the taste and mouthfeel you expect, with the nutrition you want”.

4. Video pen “ideal for anyone in an evidence gathering situation”.

5. Portable infrared sauna (visuals: think girl wearing tent at Occupy Melbourne, only with better lymph drainage).

6. Traveller’s bed bug thwarting sleeping cocoon with “durable polyester threads impervious to bed bugs’ teeth”. Entomological note: bed bugs don’t have teeth. But I bet traveller has a sweat problem.

7. The Hypnocube, creating an LED-charged light show extravaganza with 4,096 different colours.

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America, I am in you.

April 17, 2012

The Curmudgeon and I are on a winning streak.
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That’s not us. But this is.

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This morning we asked a chap where we should go for breakfast. Somewhere the locals eat, we said. Turns out he’s San Diego’s top food critic. So we took his recommendation seriously.

The Curmudgeon hasn’t been here as long as I have so he’s still enraptured by the novelty of eating the oddest thing on the menu. Peanut butter and banana-stuffed French toast for him! Elvis-death styley! Apparently it beat an Iron Chef in a breakfast throwdown and was featured on a telly show called ‘The Best Thing I Ever Ate’. For me, a more modest pile of pancakes as big as the fat-tyres wheels of our hired beach cruiser bikes.

I am very greedy. I am a lifetime member of the Clean Plate Club. Yet this is as far as I could get.

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In further luckiness, we strolled past the San Diego Museum of Art and free tickets were thrust at us by a passing couple who had spares. So we found ourselves in a fantastically kitsch and barmy exhibition of floral interpretations of artworks. It was the silliest thing. Some people interpreted paintings of a vase of flowers by constructing… A vase of flowers. Others got a little freaky. We loved it. I took one snap before I learned I wasn’t allowed to do that. Oops.

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Today: on to San Francisco!

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Some plans

April 5, 2012

The Curmudgeon is making hot cross buns. I am watching one of those train-wreck shows about hoarders until Noel Fielding’s new telly show starts. Soon I will to bed, for tomorrow we rise at dawn to eat buns. That is why it is called Good Friday. Because Buns are Good.

Oh, and then on Sunday? Really, really early? I’m going to get up and go to the airport and go to America for a month.