Archive for the ‘menagerie’ Category


We built this squiddy

April 3, 2011

We built this squiddy

We built this squiddy from some plywood

Built this squiddy

Built this squiddy from some plywood…..


Squid the dog is singularly uninterested. Both by the woodsquid and our singing.


Special adult mantid time

March 13, 2011

Look, this is a family blog. So if you’re shocked by gratuitous secks, turn away now.

Contrary to everything you’ve ever been told, the female doesn’t always eat the male. He creeps up behind her very, very slowly, away from the grabby clawy bitey end, and perches on her back. This particular male has now serviced two females in as many days. What a lothario.

She’s one of the tiny ants in a jar, all grown up, and now taking the business of making more mantids pretty seriously. He’s a vagrant male from South Yarra. I can’t see it being more than a one-night stand…


A new game we all can play

February 28, 2011

The Curmudgeon and I were enjoying a fine breakfast out on Sunday when we struck upon a genius new game. It’s called “Who would play your dog in a movie.”

To wit:

The Dog. AKA The Squid.

Defining characteristics: short of stature. Bit of a ranga. Slightly kooky, sometimes neurotic. Definitely the sassy best friend character rather than the leading lady. Spooks easily.

My suggestion:

His counter-suggestions:

Dunno, I’m not happy with any of them. They seem brittle and not earthy enough. Any better ideas? How about…

Who would play your dog in a movie?


Household spider

February 2, 2011

The Curmudgeon thinks Google should create Household Spider. You know the spiders that crawl the web, plucking out tasty keywords and making everything googleable? Well, this technology should go domestic so you know where all your things are. Car keys, cuff links, spare batteries, all that stuff. 

Conceptually, it’s brilliant, but I think there’s a technology leap required. My proposal until the technology is up to speed: we get a second dog, called Spider (preferably gangly with shaggy black or brown hair), who is trained to find stuff. Spider can snuffle through the house constantly, keeping track of everything.

This idea is less popular among my two coinhabitants. But: Squid and Spider – both eight-legged invertebrates*. Wouldn’t that be great?

Eight legs’ worth of dog (that is to say, two pooches, my canine niece and nephew) went missing yesterday. There was much terror and dread. Until they cruised home at midnight, strolling in the door, after tucking in to the nosh that had been left out for them. If Spider had been around, he’d have told us immediately where they were.

*I KNOW squids have 10 appendages but two are feeding tentacles. Pedants, back away.


Can I have eet?

January 20, 2011

We have that! We have a home without cats!

George is lovely but I suspect the main reason I like him is that when people ask what he is, I could tell them, quite earnestly, that he’s a Poohound.

If you can offer George an abode free of felines, contact the good people at Save-a-Dog.


Actual size (but she seems much bigger to me)

January 14, 2011

There have been probing questions about Consuela’s size and forthright demands for comparisons of scale. I hope this photograph adequately illustrates her astounding bigness.



January 13, 2011

Yesterday morning when I left the house, the Curmudgeon was stretching his work shirt out over a pot of vigorously boiling water. This is because our iron, bought from a bargain shop in a fit of penny-pinching short-sightedness, stopped working. I think his solution to the wrinkly problem was quite resourceful and, by his account, reasonably successful. Except for the third degree steam burns, of course.

However another member of our zoo household has an even better solution. Consuela not only grows her own shirts but when she puts on a new one and needs to iron out the wrinkles, she simply inflates herself.

She moulted last night – a truly spectacular sight. She’s now, officially, enormous. Yet this is not her final moult. She will get bigger. What on earth will I feed her?

NO! Not that!