Whistle restoration surgery

August 30, 2011

Oh, I’ll just pop into the dermatologist before work on a Tuesday, I thought. Just get this thing on my lip checked out. That lumpy thing that’s been there for a couple of months. That lumpy thing that won’t go away. The lumpy thing that STOLE MY WHISTLE.

For two months I haven’t been able to whistle properly. It ruined my embouchure. The dog roamed the park unbidden and I could do naught but hum while I worked.

Anyhoo, I thought I’ll get a balm, an ointment, a poultice from said dermatologist and be on my way. She took one look at it and said, “We’ll cut that out. It’s a cyst.*” What, now? Yes, now.

(Ultimately a good thing because it meant the pre-procedural dread was cut down from days to minutes.)

Inject, OW, numb, number, numbest, chip chop, sew up, mop up blood. Done! And now, surprise day at home because no one needs to see this swollen and brutalised lower lip.

I will observe my recovery keenly and report back on the whistle’s whereabouts. Come back to me!

*Miranda claims that ‘moist’ is Queen of Words, and ‘plinth’ is King of Words. I think ‘cyst’ must be the bastard half-prince.



  1. Get well soon…..can you see the stitches? Whiskered Livebird??

  2. Sorry to hear your news, lip.

    I’m v. fond of words wherein /y/ is the sole vowel, like rhythm, and syzygy.

  3. […] the Thing grew back. I was decidedly unimpressed. The dermatologist was a bit guilty, I thought… she […]

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