Household spider

February 2, 2011

The Curmudgeon thinks Google should create Household Spider. You know the spiders that crawl the web, plucking out tasty keywords and making everything googleable? Well, this technology should go domestic so you know where all your things are. Car keys, cuff links, spare batteries, all that stuff. 

Conceptually, it’s brilliant, but I think there’s a technology leap required. My proposal until the technology is up to speed: we get a second dog, called Spider (preferably gangly with shaggy black or brown hair), who is trained to find stuff. Spider can snuffle through the house constantly, keeping track of everything.

This idea is less popular among my two coinhabitants. But: Squid and Spider – both eight-legged invertebrates*. Wouldn’t that be great?

Eight legs’ worth of dog (that is to say, two pooches, my canine niece and nephew) went missing yesterday. There was much terror and dread. Until they cruised home at midnight, strolling in the door, after tucking in to the nosh that had been left out for them. If Spider had been around, he’d have told us immediately where they were.

*I KNOW squids have 10 appendages but two are feeding tentacles. Pedants, back away.


One comment

  1. …or you could just RFID chip everything 😉

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