Why you should never go southside

January 31, 2010

Nothing good comes of going southside in Melbourne (EXCEPTIONS, two only: dog at beach and kugelhopf from Monarch Cakes) and yesterday’s flouting of this rule got us suitably punished.

Two chums and I beetled all the way down Punt Road* to Brighton (BRAYTON, dahling) to see the Grant Featherston exhibition hosted therein. After a long, long, long drive to get there, we discovered that Brayton Council had closed the exhibition in mid-December and weren’t reopening it until mid-February. WHO GETS TWO MONTHS’ HOLIDAY OVER HEXMAS? Brayton does.

So what to do but to see consolatory cake. Off we went, beetling through Elsternwick wondering why, why, why, are no bakeries open? Is ALL of Brayton on extended holiday? Lazy sons of….. oh. It’s Shabbat. Of course nothing is open. No sugary lardy carby treats for us.

Onward ho to Malvern… nothing here, we just got lost, because it’s a big wealthy shiny suburb and we were all slummy northsiders who didn’t know the area.

Finally, finally, we got back to friendly territory and stopped at Abbotsford Convent where we tested the sweets to be had at Kappaya, a lovely, lovely Japanese eatery that’s recently moved from Johnston St. I can’t find anything about them but flickr user Carolyn approves of their tea. There we had sparkling ginger juice, green tea mousse, burnt sesame pudding and delightful crumbly cheesecake and it was all OK again. Northside forgave us our tresspasses.

*quote from Claire Hooper in silly monthy glossy mag in The Age – Melbournians can be defined by “a strong, visceral response to the words Punt Road”.

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