Dandelion juice

January 1, 2010

For the first post of the year, let’s talk about a bizarre and grotesque skin complaint with a name so awesome you may soon see it bestowed upon a celebrity baby. I’m talking about – and if don’t enjoy a medical condition picture as much as I do, don’t click through – Pompholyx.

I got me some of that shizz-nit. Makes my hands look a little reptilian and perhaps indicates impending transformation into a fearsome comic superhero called Chamaelona or Tuatara. Should probably quit writing and work on latex/breastplate/scaly boots costume concept in readiness. Ooooh, I wonder if I’ll grow a tail?! Hope it’s prehensile.

Anyway, anyway, the nice dermatologists of NZ have informed me, by way of their online database of skintacular catastrophe, that it’s quite common, they dunno why it happens, and I shouldn’t touch irritants like water (??!!) or nickel. Bung on some sterioids and I’ll be tickety-boo.

Then again, another search result describes it as ‘rare’ (read: sufferer is special, unique, misunderstood, possibly anointed by God) and mentions dandelion juice as a possible treatment. They reckon this remedy has been used for over 1000 years so it must be good. Oh and look, it’s also therapeutic for “obesity, gout, hypertension, arteriosclerosis, kidney stones…” (how sinister is that elipsis??). There’s also a happy little story about lonely flowers and plantar warts over here, if you like.

I accidentally flicked to the new kids’ channel, ABC3 yesterday. I was transfixed by an utterly trippy show, clearly descended from the trailblazing Teletubbies, with people overacting in fat furry suits while uttering whimsical semi-words and skipping through waist-high daisies. I realise now that reading about alternative medicine induces exactly the same response in me – I can’t tear myself away from the weirdness. I’d better go and spend some time at Bad Science to dry out.


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