Highlights from the Amtrak TravelMall catalogue

1. Orbitwheels, a “cross between a skateboard and inline skates but with more freedom and simplicity than either”.

2. Thundershirt, a tight coat for anxious dogs that works on the same principle as “swaddling an infant or people with autism”.

3. Protein Ketchup that “delivers the taste and mouthfeel you expect, with the nutrition you want”.

4. Video pen “ideal for anyone in an evidence gathering situation”.

5. Portable infrared sauna (visuals: think girl wearing tent at Occupy Melbourne, only with better lymph drainage).

6. Traveller’s bed bug thwarting sleeping cocoon with “durable polyester threads impervious to bed bugs’ teeth”. Entomological note: bed bugs don’t have teeth. But I bet traveller has a sweat problem.

7. The Hypnocube, creating an LED-charged light show extravaganza with 4,096 different colours.

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